There have been so many different blogs that I've read over the years where the authors clearly led a life of financial security and privilege far outside of my realm of comprehension, yet have never discussed it. There's a HUGE economic divide between the writer and their audience, evidenced by the well-dressed children, extensive travel, the huge house that looks like a staged magazine photo shoot, the charming life in the country, and the designer clothes... Some of it can be chalked up to "aspirational lifestyles" or whatever, in that we sometimes gravitate to reading about lives we'd like to emulate.
This is "the life"!
I don't think these people should apologize for the lives they have, but I
do think there is a certain responsibility to not pretend like everyone has it the same as they do. We can't all marry bazillionaire ranchers or write craft/cook books or get paid to travel the world or sign sponsorship deals with HGTV or Vans or Ikea or Levis or what have you.
Obviously, everybody has bills to pay. I don't think there's any inherent shame in making a living though blogging or endorsing products or inspiring and entertaining people. It's the American way, for crying out loud. I'd love it if I could do that, but this little blog doesn't generate that level of traffic and the more polarizing opinions I have on things like school and fat and social justice and this, that, and the other, the less anybody is going to want to use my space for any kind of advertising, let alone want me to say what I really think about their product. I know this.
Recipe for discussing my own financial privilege:
- 1/4 cup fear
- 1/2 cup denial
- 2 tbsp justification
- 1 tbsp defensiveness
- 2 tsp explanation
- a pinch of guilt
- a dash of commiseration
While I don't make any money through blogging, I
am choosing to write about my life in a public space. It's a window through which the anonymous reader sees our home and our material possessions, and possibly speculates and makes assumptions about what kind of money we make and what kind of lifestyle we lead.
I've lived in extreme poverty before. The kind of poverty where you don't know where your next meal is going to come from or where you can only pay enough of each bill to not get evicted and have things turned off. Where your food budget stops after the WIC checks and food stamps have been spent. I've gone without a car/internet access/tv/suitable clothes/cell-phones/etc in the past because there wasn't money for it. That is no longer the case, but (
and it's a BIGGGGG but) we also aren't living in the lap of luxury. I know people who vacation in tropical locales at least once a year and own condos in Hawaii and multiple houses (
some of which are upwards of 4,000 square feet) and go out to eat multiple times a week and throw posh dinner parties and own boats and RVs and and and all that jazz. That's not us.
I've done a fair bit of poking around online to see where our income puts us when it comes to socioeconomic class and I've found that across the board, we are considered "working-class". I've also found that based on our family size and the part of the country we live in, that we technically make under the living wage. I don't ever want it to seem like I'm presenting something else that isn't accurate.
Yes, we've got two Mercedes in the driveway, but the combined cost of both was under 5k and one was bought to replace the other that we're trying to sell (
notice that the yard is unfinished and the xmas lights are still up?). Yes, we are able to go to LiG and Chautauqua each year, but they are literally our ONLY family vacations and Seth doesn't even go with us because he can't take the time off work. Yes, we bought our house, but got a great deal on it and our down-payment was less than the down payment on many brand new cars. We also spent several years renting apartments that were vastly too small for us, while saving up everything we could.
Our bills get paid on time and in full each month and we are occasionally able to put some money away in savings. Compared to where I was financially 7-10 years ago, this is HUGE. Compared to how my family did when I was a teen, this is modest and unremarkable. I think a lot of how we manage to do alright at under the living wage is by being ridiculously frugal - We hardly ever eat out, we're more apt to mend damaged clothes than to buy new ones, we don't travel much, our furniture is mostly thrifted or gifted, we only have one credit card and use it rarely, we do much of our car and home maintenance ourselves, we meticulously plan weekly menus and cook inexpensive meals.
I've lived at several different points on the spectrum of wealth, my friends live at several different points, and I'm sure there is just as much diversity (
if not more) among my readers. I think people at most income brackets worry about money. I know I worried about it when I literally had none and I worry about it now, even with a buffer in the bank. Money is stressful. It's awkward and divisive and a lot of people like to pretend like it isn't. I don't want to pretend.
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