sartorial sunday: Ralph Lauren or whatever.

This weight is the heaviest I've ever been. I'm going to let that sink in for you for a minute...

I weigh 240 pounds // my BMI (coughbullshitcough) is 42.5 

40 or higher is considered Morbidly Obese. This is why I add the term "DEATHFATTY" to my outfit descriptions - I am the walking dead. If you believed everything you heard (please don't), you'd think I was about to drop dead any second now. I don't owe health to anyone, but I can tell you that I feel pretty confident about my body and how I live in it these days. I'm more consistently active than I've ever been in my adult life, my eating is no longer horrifically disordered, and my mental and emotional health is the most stable it's ever been. Ever. Plus... sex life. Yes. Good. Very nice.

This personal progress has had the hilarious result of making me want to wear less and less clothing. I want it shorter, tighter, thinner, sometimes almost non-existent. I want to wriggle around and sausage myself into things. I have recently discovered that H+M is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab for this. I hadn't set foot in one of their stores until Friday afternoon, and when I walked in... I was in heaven.

t-shirt dress - H+M (size L)

5’3” - 240ish - size 18/20ish - DEATHFATTY

I was on the prowl for a specific dress (it doesn't appear to be on the website anymore) that I borrowed from Amber when she visited a couple of weeks ago. It took me over an hour to find it (I made several laps around the store in search of it and must have looked at the rack it was on 2 or 3 times before it jumped out at me), but I eventually did find it and purchased the fuck out of it. In my travels, I was fortunate to also find an adorable t-shirt dress that was only $13. I promptly grabbed it in black and two other colors. Yes, you heard me right - colors. I'm working hard at brightening things up and not limiting myself. So hard, in fact, that I also bought two pairs of adorable micro-suede flats in bright purple and a neon/acid yellow.

I ended up spending about $140, but that money got me 4 dresses, 2 pairs of shoes, a necklace, and a hoodie and a pair of jeans for Silas. So not only are their clothes stretchy and fun to squeeze into, they're also pretty darn affordable. This DEATHFATTY can die happy (any second now, you guys).