Get out of your head and into my car.
November of 2011 is going to go down in my personal history as a trying and painful month. There have been good bits, for sure, but I've spent a significant portion of it turned inward, emotionally.
I've had a lot of tooth pain and ended up visiting the ER a couple weeks back, have taken a lot of painkillers, and made phone calls about dental work that I didn't want to make. I scheduled an exam at a dental office in Bremerton that I was referred to because of their sliding-scale fee system, but was getting some pretty negative gut feelings about the whole thing; thankfully I decided to cancel the appointment and worked something else out. I'll be going to my old dentist (who I haven't been to since leaving Safeway and my insurance plan over two years ago) in 2 weeks so that they can do some x-rays and compile the inevitable list of things that need to be done up in there in order of priority. I'm sure I'll be losing a couple of teeth and I'm trying not to stress out about it, which is easier said than done, for sure. It is what it is. When you're not rolling in the money, basic dental work is a luxury. Sad, but true.
Thankfully, the positive things that have happened in the last few weeks have been uplifting and rejuvenating! I helped Anna with her holiday window display again this year and we had a decent amount of fun flexing our creative muscles. We took wrapping paper and ripped and crumpled the living crap out of it, decoupaged it onto an old dinghy, and filled it with presents! It turned out beautifully, as her windows always do, and I'm so glad I got to help out.
And of course, Thanksgiving dinner was a lovely affair. I am so very grateful that even though my own family hasn't invited me home for Thanksgiving in who knows how long, that Seth's family welcomes me to their table time and time again. The meal was epic (of course), the conversation amusing, and the overall atmosphere warm and enjoyable. I brought my baked Parmesan Mac & Cheese and Pineapple Poppy-seed Coleslaw!
Phase one of my holiday-decorating-spree has been completed! I'm skipping a tree this year, because of our mischievous kitten, but am making up for it in extra paper chains & snowflakes. I want to also do lights outside, but am psyching myself out about climbing up the ladder. I'd love to do the whole gingerbread house type thing, since the lines of our house are vaguely cottage-y, but I'm doubting I have that much bravery in me. I'll probably stick to spots I can reach from the shorter step-ladder. I R WIMP.
And this is the part of my month that was the hardest... saying goodbye to a dear and cherished friend. Whitney and her family made the decision to move back to Texas and in a matter of weeks were packed up and gone.
Nobody warns you that making friends as an adult can be incredibly difficult... making a bosom friend who is a true kindred spirit is harder still. I'm reeling from the loneliness and shock, while also reminding myself that this is a positive thing for them and that the world does not revolve around me and my nauseating roller-coaster of feelings. We spent a lot of time together in those last couple of weeks - laughing and crying and hugging and laughing some more. In this day and age, moving a couple thousand miles away doesn't mean losing contact; I know that, but the face to face bond was something I had been needing in my life for a long time and now that aspect has been taken away. So, as I said before, I've turned inward quite a bit.
Naturally, I placed a craigslist ad, the ultimate sign of desperation, and have only gotten one response... and of course, that response was from someone who lives two hours away, thus not fulfilling the need I was placing the ad for in the first place. Selfpityville: population 1. Ok, getting over it, moving on... SNIFFSNIFFSOBCHOKE
Seth and I are attending another young professional mixer thingy tonight, so that should be enjoyable and somewhat amusing. Fake it 'till you make it, y'know.
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