It's amazing how you can be with someone for almost 5 years and still be constantly learning new things about them and how they work, about yourself, and about the ways in which you relate to each other (or, you know, DON'T).
I didn't end up axe-murdering Seth in his sleep, so that's good.
We talked a bunch after our tiff yesterday and figured some stuff out:
- He works with his father 40 hours a week, his father happens to talk to his mother. Nine times out of ten this results in them "being in the loop" much more than the average parents of a grown-ass man. I can deal with that. Just because I don't have that with my birth family doesn't mean that I should eschew having it with his family. It's actually quite nice to have that support system and to have people who actually care. BUT! I need him to communicate things to me. I need to "be in the loop" more than anyone else because, hey, it's my life, too. He totally gets that.
- He needs me to slow down. What that means is that I move from point A to point B to point whoevenknows in record time. Seth works things out in his head, takes a long time making decisions, and tends to keep things to himself rather than "talk them out". I, on the other hand, hash things out BY talking about them, make decisions quickly, and move from subject to subject VERY quickly. I've always known this about myself, but had literally no idea how overwhelming it can be for those around me. He described it like he's a really mellow, slow-moving elephant and I'm a high-strung squeaky mouse and I'm constantly backing him into a corner with a barrage of conversation and frenzy. Like a cartoon elephant teetering on top of a tiny wooden stool, scared out of its wits and emotionally claustrophobic. This is the most accurate description I've ever heard of anything in my entire life.
So yes... no one is going to kill anyone. He's not plotting behind my back or in cahoots with his parents to make me look like a complete dolt. I was all kinds of worked up about what happened, and that was justified. He gets that. I get that he needs me to slooooooooooow down. I think we understand eachother, sometimes it just takes a really uncomfortable afternoon and some bickering to figure all of it out.